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" Get out from your house
from your cave, from your car
from the place you feel safe
from the place that you are.
Get out and go running,
go funning, go wild,
get out from your head and get growing,
Dear child."
~ Dallas Clayton
I spent most my life trying to please the people I love thinking I have to live my life for them.
I studied a degree for a year and a half thinking it's the right thing to do because it was expected of me.
The more someone asked me whether I was enjoying it or whether I can actually see myself doing that job
in the future the more I realised just how unhappy I actually was. I just kept on thinking "don't worry, everyone hates it at first" but sub-consciously I knew how unhappy I have become.
in the future the more I realised just how unhappy I actually was. I just kept on thinking "don't worry, everyone hates it at first" but sub-consciously I knew how unhappy I have become.
Don't get me wrong; I wasn't failing my subjects or missing home too much, I was just incredibly unhappy academically.
If it was up to me I would love to carry on living in Stellenbosch because some of my favourite people and places are there.
on living in Stellenbosch because some of my favourite people and places are there.
The more I carried on convincing myself and others I was happy, the more anxiety and panic attacks I was having. It got to the point where the people close to me realised what was going on.
on convincing myself and others I was happy, the more anxiety and panic attacks I was having. It got to the point where the people close to me realised what was going on.
It occured to me that I cannot carry on like that because it is essentially my life and no one else is living it for me.
Since making the decision to 'drop-out' I have become a completely different person. I am so excited for my future now.
I haven't had any panic attacks for more than a month and I feel great.
I have decided to spent the next six months to do some soul-searching and live out my passion (which is why I have started this blog) and see whether I can create something from that.
It is really easy to feel pressured when you are deciding your future because it's a huge step to take when you are only seventeen. You feel like you need to listen to everyone around you but the only person that knows you well enough to know what makes you happy is you!
because it's a huge step to take when you are only seventeen. You feel like you need to listen to everyone around you but the only person that knows you well enough to know what makes you happy is you!
Take advice and research careers but the final decision is yours.
but the final decision is yours.
Be happy.
If you are happy in yourself and in what you do you will be able to make a success out of it (hard-work obviously essential).
out of it (hard-work obviously essential).
Stay in touch with this blog to find out what I have been up to, my favourite beauty-products, hauls and anything fun.
Leave a comment below and tell me whether you have had a similar experience or are currently deciding about majors!
me whether you have had a similar experience or are currently deciding about majors!
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